Magic happens in the uncomfortable moments*Trigger warning 
Good day to you lovely
Thankyou so much for popping in and spending a portion of your day here with me!
Yesterday was International Star Wars Day and honestly… I asked the universe multiple times to let “May the Fourth be with me” because wow, the energy required was REAL 
Other than celebrating Harrison Ford's performances and speaking briefly like Yoda for shit's and giggles -
I sat in a meeting with representatives from Department of Human Services and Embolden, who are involved in South Australia’s domestic, family and sexual violence reform work.
And I walked into that room with intention to help them understand that the LEAN and every person affected by DFSV is valuable. We are not simply data.
However - dismayingly, Embolden won't seem to budge on that and continue to stand their ground - please read on.
I stand up for the women, families and humans who already feel exhausted, unheard and emotionally wrung out by systems that often ask them to “share their story” while giving nothing, or very little back in return.
Because here’s the thing…
The goal for our country should never be to build bigger domestic violence systems forever.
The goal should be fewer people needing them and that requires more than crisis response after harm has already happened.
It requires prevention.
Connection.
Education for life.
Community.
Capability.
Healing.
Belonging.
Self-worth.
Practical support.
And humans who actually feel seen.One of the biggest moments in the meeting for me was learning that LEAN - the Lived Experience Advisory Network - isn’t actually designed as a “network” to bring people together in connection and community the way many of us believed.
It’s simply a data base. More of a collection point for Embolden to herd the people into one place and extract people's lived experience information to support government decision-making. Whilst they make their decisions, prior to assessing the data.
And honestly?
That matters deeply.
Because there is a HUGE difference between valuing lived experience and extracting lived experience.
There’s also a massive difference between consultation and genuine partnership.
Recommendation 11 clearly states that lived experience contributors should be appropriately remunerated and therapeutically supported for their expertise.
Because trauma is not just “information.”
Trauma lives in the body. It lives in the nervous system. It lives in memories, exhaustion, hypervigilance, shame and survival patterns.
Opening those doors to answer surveys mid-afternoon on a Thursday is not a quick little admin task for many people.
MOST importantly - with an expectation to provide your personal identity details about courts, violence, coercive control and systems failures
This is an action that can throw your whole day. Sometimes your whole week.
Embolden are actively asking people to reopen wounds without support, transparency or recognition of emotional labour… so now, the trust starts to disappear.
And when you are working with men, women and children in this space - trust is EVERYTHING.
These people already know what it feels like to:
be silenced
be dismissed
be invisible
not be believed
or have power taken away from them.
I am truly dismayed at Embolden's lack of humanity yesterday - corporate speech and lawyered up responses can be very frustrating when you seek an honest conversation.
BUT…
There were also hopeful moments yesterday 
The conversations with Department of Human Services around upstream prevention and future pathways for funding support through Elevate Capacity genuinely excited me! 
Because this is the stuff that matters to us - to my team and the partners we work with.
Not waiting until someone’s life is already falling apart.
Not waiting until court.
Not waiting until homelessness.
Not waiting until addiction.
Not waiting until a nervous system is already shattered.
We NEED to start earlier. We NEED to help young people build:
emotional regulation
healthy boundaries
communication skills
financial confidence
identity
resilience
self-worth
real-world life capabilitywhile they are still forming their understanding of themselves and the world around them.
And it starts with you. It starts with us!
One talk at school once a year is not enough.
Awareness alone does not create transformation.
Prevention is not a poster.
It’s not a slogan.
It’s not an unpaid survey answered by a woman purchasing Woolworths vouchers on AfterPay to feed her children because she has no support around her - and is too embarrassed to ask. Because the last time she asked for help - she was told "to make it work"
Prevention is sustained capability-building wrapped in safety, community, consistency and care.
That is why I continue building Hey Mumma Australia and our Elevate Capacity Education
Not as “another program.” We have so many! Not as another Government Initiative more focussed on bloody KPIs and reporting than on the individual.
But as part of a much bigger vision for human capability, healing, empowerment and upstream change.
Because no amount of downstream services can solve a problem that was never interrupted upstream.
Yes. The posts are confronting. The conversations are uncomfortable.
But they are necessary.
Because when 1 in 4 women are affected by Domestic Violence in our state. When 1 in 7 Men are hurt.
When 2 out of 5 children in our state have been directly impacted by something as life-changing as Domestic Violence.
We NEED to have these conversations and say what NEEDS to be said.
Despite the frustrations, I still believe change is possible.
Because every meaningful shift in history began with someone willing to stand up and say -
“The way we have been doing this - it isn't bloody working. It is time for change. Today”
How would you like to see your children to "Be The Change"
0 Comments